the way

i am beginning to find the way. my way....i think. my way to serenity and comfort. my way to love and laughter, my way to IT. what ever that may be. now, i am basically a very happy, giving, humble person who does not need much to exist. however, one thing, one basic thing i forgot to do was to be my partner. to be there for me. to put me first, to make sure i had secured my oxygen mask before securing others. i have been in the mindset lately of, "i am the caretaker, i am the quirkie artist/chicken lady/child care provider. i am the goofy one who likes the center of attention. i am the smile starter often, i am spastic and all over the place and i have kept myself away from really going after a relationship, really going after love. i keep it safely at arms length. i have realized that i am not a big risk taker and i have realized that i am going to be one. in whatever form or fashion it presents itself. i am going to put my life first and make it work for me instead of me working for my life.